6 phrases you are unlikely to hear anywhere other than Mongolia.

1. "This evening's toilet is the third dune to the south. Please, for your own wellbeing, be wary of the wind, small bristly bushes, and bloodthirsty wolves which tend to roam in packs."
- In the Gobi desert, a visit to the toilet cannot be taken for granted.

2. "Where are they? This is the rendezvous point. Shit, it's just like those nomads to up and leave on us."
- In the Gobi desert, you can rely on the nomads' hospitality, but not on their whereabouts.

3. "We can take the bridge or we can take the river. Always better to be safe than sorry. Lift your legs kids, through the river we go."
- In the Gobi desert, the bridges are somewhat decrepit. Your truck may be the one that falls through.

4. "You two have been flirting the whole entire trip. Go get a ger for the night."
- In the Gobi desert, a night's worth of romance is best indulged in a ger. Actually, gers are all there are, whether you're lust-filled, lovelorn or otherwise.

5. "Uh-oh. No billiards today. It seems a cement-mixer has run into the billiard table."
- In Ulaanbaatar, the billiard tables sit on the sidewalk in the wide open air. This leaves them defenseless to the odd downpour of snow, tired homeless people's slumbers, and poorly driven cement-mixers.

6. "Hello sir. Today you may select from our three specialities: mutton with noodles, mutton with vegetables, or mutton with rice. We promise you our mutton is of the freshest variety."
- In the north, south, east, west and central Mongolia, they eat a lot of mutton. I am one meal away from turning vegan.